IN A QUANDARY

Will you catch me when I fall?

Will you wash my tears away?

Will you be here when I’m down?

Will you remember yesterday?

Will you cheer me up when I’m sad?

Will you protect me from the tearful end?

I don’t want to live in doubt –

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Laughing together and feasting

Lying close to you while sleeping

Smiling at you amorously every day.

I don’t want to hurt you – that’s not my way.

I’m not able to say those empty words

I wish I could vanish in the crowd.

When I see the charming smile on your face

I try to act like a grace.

Then I look around searching for a place

Where I can hide and I speed up my pace.

Why can’t I look into your eyes?

The shaking knees are not the reason

You’re different from other guys

Or maybe it is just a vision.

I feel like a prisoner in some way

Imprisoned by the poisonous thoughts in my head.

They’re haunting me every night and day

The time ceased to move, they seize my space.

Behaving like a ten-year-old and mad

I damaged what I never wanted to end

The special feeling which I thoroughly tried to defend

Was killed by my coward decisions, by my own hand.